I have had a busy few days. Some people connected with my congregation are either very ill or dying. Saturday was one appointment after another. Sunday was preaching, lunching, visiting, then feeding a bunch of young adults at home, watching a movie with them and having some deep chats. It was fun!
The problem is the waking up on Monday morning feeling very tired from lots of intense people time. I am an extrovert – I love people and these were some of my faves, but I was tired the next day and I found it hard to start my next sermon.
Ebb and flow, people then solitude and good God-time; I need to keep these in balance otherwise I live on adrenaline and anxiety builds. The answer is lots of space but that is hard to achieve in a smallish house with a big family, plus working full-time. I know what I need but it isn’t always easy to achieve it.
Writing is a help – getting my thoughts down as long as I don’t wrestle too much with word usage.
Thinking is also helpful, either aloud to Grant or Zach, or in writing to God. (Once again a caveat – as long as it is not anxious type thinking, going over and over the same problem.)
The contemplative has been helpful; reading books that focus on spiritual disciplines and the place of the heart/soul before God, going on retreats, visiting the monastery etc. But I am an active contemplative – called to be with and care for people, who like all people are not always easy (although I have a pretty good bunch!)
I am learning how to care for myself, so that I can care for others. Not selfishness as I have often thought, but essential in my present position. And I am looking forward to my big walk with Julie on Friday which usually helps clear out the cobwebs 🙂
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